Do you ever wonder, as I often do, if you’re headed in the right direction in life? Do you feel as though you’re traveling in circles, and not accomplishing your goals? Recently, I read a quote by Caroline Myss, the author and spiritual teacher, which states,“You know you are on the right path when you’re not put in a position to betray yourself.” From this perspective, the right path will veer in all directions, as long as we are careful to not compromise our spirit, joyfulness, our integrity, values, and our dreams.
The concept of betraying ourselves speaks to a behavior or a manner of living that is contrary to our spirit’s desire, or that which is in direct contrast to our particular calling. Yes, we all absolutely have a calling, from this vantage point, a gift. How exciting! When we remove our betrayals our true purpose is illuminated for us and the world to see. When we make decisions or act from this truth, we are living in our highest good. Since there are positive ripple effects on everything and everyone we touch when we reside in this alignment, we are living out our soul’s purpose, truth, and it’s calling.
In order to understand how we compromise our spirit, I scoured all the master self help gurus notes. Here are the biggest tell tale signs of self betrayal.
- Feeling guilty or ashamed of yourself or actions. We must accept our imperfections, our humanity. For the better or for the worse, we will make mistakes. We are only human. Some errors may cause irreparable damage. Forgiveness is the key here and is essential for our personal development. When we learn to forgive ourselves we can offer the opportunity of redemption to others. We live and we learn.
- Disingenuous behavior. Sometimes we act in a way for the sake of other’s perceptions or approval. This will never feel or be authentic, and will have us feel perpetually empty and dependent for more “likes.” The remedy is to listen to our inner advice over others, and to have trust in our wisdom, as well as, our emotions. Your emotions will tell you when you are compromising your spirit. Hence, if you are feeling gloomy and/or filled with discomfort, disappointment, anxiety or exhaustion, it is time to tune inward in order to make behavior and lifestyle changes.
- Negative self talk. This is the biggie! All those stories we tell ourselves about how we just can’t do something, how we aren’t worth it, and that we don’t deserve it. In addition, we provide ourselves with misconstrued evidence to back up our claims of negative self worth. Brene Brown calls this “engineering our smallness”. In order to combat this contradiction of self, Wayne Dyer says, simply, “Change your thoughts, Change your life.” Some will need to commit to Cognitive Behavioral therapy or a Spiritual Practice, to release the false narratives, others may need an awareness of their behavior to start living in their power. I made a mantra of “You are deserving” on post it notes to remind myself.
- Ignoring gut instincts. We are the only animals in the world who have forgotten to listen to our senses, or our inner knowings. We must learn to trust the hairs on the back of our necks, the goose pimples that run down our limbs, our mother’s voices in our heads, the churning in our stomach, the cracking in someone else’s voice, or the song we have heard three times in one day…in other words “trust what you can not see far more than what you can” ! (Caroline Myss)
This may seem uncomplicated, yet the right path is not always the easiest or clearest, or the one that flows effortlessly. Sometimes our journey is long and arduous, debilitating and cold. However, when a deep sense of self satisfaction is felt in our heart, despite the pain of our travels, we know we are on our true, inherent path.
